Why does my child only poo in a nappy?

“Why does my child only poo in a nappy?” is one of the most common questions parents of sensory children ask — and it’s far more normal than you think.



 If you’re here because your child will happily wee on the toilet…

but will only poo if they’re in a nappy, hiding behind the sofa like a tiny criminal — you are not alone.

This is one of the most common issues parents of sensory kids face.
And no — it does not mean you’ve failed at potty training.

Let’s break it down in a way that actually makes sense.

First: this is VERY normal (especially for sensory kids)

Children who only poo in a nappy are often:

  • highly body-aware

  • sensitive to sensations

  • anxious about change

  • very in tune with control and safety

For them, pooing isn’t just a physical thing — it’s sensory, emotional, and psychological.

The main reasons this happens

🟣 1. The toilet feels unsafe

The toilet can feel:

  • cold

  • loud

  • echoey

  • unstable

A nappy feels:

  • warm

  • contained

  • familiar

  • predictable

So your child isn’t being stubborn — they’re choosing the option that feels safe.

🟣 2. They like the pressure of a nappy

For sensory kids, the tightness of a nappy can feel:

  • grounding

  • calming

  • reassuring

The toilet offers no pressure, which can feel strange or even scary.

🟣 3. Fear of the sensation (not the toilet itself)

Some children are scared of:

  • the feeling of poo “leaving” their body

  • the splash

  • the noise

  • not being able to stop it once it starts

A nappy gives them a sense of control.

🟣 4. Previous pain or constipation

If your child has ever had:

  • constipation

  • painful poos

  • fissures

Their brain may have linked:

poo = pain

So they stick with the method that feels safest.

🟣 5. Control (the good kind, not the naughty kind)

Pooing is one of the last things children fully control.

If your child:

  • feels rushed

  • feels pressured

  • has had accidents commented on

They may use nappies as a way to say:

“This bit is mine.”

What NOT to do (this matters)

🚫 Don’t force them to sit on the toilet
🚫 Don’t remove nappies suddenly
🚫 Don’t shame, bribe, or threaten
🚫 Don’t compare them to other kids

Pressure almost always delays progress with sensory children.

What DOES help (gentle steps)

💜 Let the nappy stay (for now)

You’re not “going backwards”.
You’re building trust and safety first.

💜 Change one thing at a time

Examples:

  • poo in a nappy in the bathroom

  • poo in a nappy while sitting on the toilet lid

  • poo in a nappy with trousers down

Tiny steps count.

💜 Talk about it without pressure

Use neutral language:

  • “Your body will tell you when it’s ready”

  • “Some kids take longer — that’s okay”

No big reactions.

💜 Focus on comfort, not timing

Soft stools = confidence.
Hydration, fibre, and relaxed routines help more than charts ever will.

When to get extra support

It’s worth chatting to a GP or health visitor if:

  • your child is withholding poo

  • there’s pain or bleeding

  • anxiety is increasing

  • constipation is ongoing

Support is not failure — it’s help.

The bottom line 💜

Your child is not being difficult.
They are telling you something about how their body feels.

And when they feel safe enough?
They will get there.

💜 Want extra support?

If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, I’ve created a gentle, sensory-friendly potty training guide that walks you through this step by step — without pressure, shame, or battles.



👉 You can read more about the guide here
      3 Day Potty Training Plan

Then inside that blog post, you have:
👉 Get the full guide on Amazon here


💜 Still wondering “why does my child…?”

This post is part of our 'Why does my child....?! Hub - You can view here! -
👉 Why Does My Child…? 

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