Mum Guilt & Autism Parenting – You’re Not Alone

 Ever wish your kid would just go to bed so you can breathe for five minutes… and then an hour later you’re scrolling through photos of their sweet little faces while they sleep, feeling bad for every sharp word you said that day? Yep. That’s the joy of mum guilt — and autism parenting comes with it in bulk.



What is Mum Guilt (and Why Autism Makes It Worse)?

“Mum guilt” is that voice in your head that says: you’re not doing enough, you messed up again, they deserve better.

Now add autism into the mix:

  • Therapy appointments you missed.

  • Meltdowns in Tesco where strangers gave you that look.

  • Comparing your child to “typical” kids in the playground.

It’s like parenting with a running commentary of “could do better”.

Common Triggers for Autism Mum Guilt

  • Losing your patience → Yep, shouting happens. You’re not a robot.

  • Screen time → Roblox is basically a co-parent at this point.

  • Not enough “fun sensory play” → The Pinterest mums are lying, don’t worry.

  • Siblings → Feeling like they miss out because so much energy goes into one child.

  • The Big One → Wondering if you somehow caused it. (Spoiler: you didn’t. Full stop.)

Why Guilt Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Mum

Here’s the truth: crap parents don’t feel guilty. They don’t care enough to replay the day at 1am. If you’re reading this with tears in your eyes, it’s because you do care — deeply.

That guilt? It’s just your brain waving a little flag that says “I love this kid so much I want to get it right.”

How to Ease Mum Guilt (Without Adding More Guilt 😂)

  • Focus on the small wins. He wore the itchy jumper for 10 minutes? Victory.

  • Self-care isn’t selfish. You can’t pour from an empty cup — and burnt-out mums don’t advocate well.

  • Find your people. Other parents who will admit they’ve shouted, bribed, and hidden in the loo too.

  • Reframe the day. You didn’t “fail dinner,” you kept them fed. You didn’t “ruin the day,” you modelled that repair matters.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Let’s flip some guilt moments:

  • “I shouted.” → You apologised. You showed how to make things right.

  • “Too much screen time.” → They were regulated and happy.

  • “Didn’t cook fresh dinner.” → They ate. Their bellies were full.

See? Not failings. Just proof you’re human.

Final Thoughts

Here’s what I want you to know: you don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present. Your child doesn’t need a supermum. They need you. And you — messy bun, greasy hair, short fuse, loving heart — are more than enough.

So the next time you find yourself doom-scrolling through their baby photos while they sleep, remember this: guilt means love. And love is what makes you the mum they need. 💜

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